Wedding Goddess Wisdom ®

Muslim and Hindu Cultures Merge in Brooklyn Botanic Gardens Wedding

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Brooklyn Botanic Garden is a beautiful oasis of trees, flowers, and pastoral scenes—and the perfect place for a marriage ceremony.

Sehr Khandwala and Ashnil Dixit celebrated their love there this summer. Their marriage brought together two faiths - Muslim and Hindu - and joined two lovely families. One of the most beautiful sites -- other than bride and groom, of course -- were all the guests donned in gorgeous saris and the traditional garments of Pakistan and India.

It was such a beautiful sight to stand at the wedding altar and look out at the sea of beautiful, colorful clothes.

The ceremony was a loving, non-denominational and nontraditional ceremony and the guests loved it. Many had never seen quite a ceremony, since those in India and Pakistan are usually done in quite a different manner. It took place in a beautiful green meadow. Truly an awesome site.

Customs of Sri Lanka Made This Wedding Ceremony Meaningful

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Rachel Leanza and Sanith Wijesinghe were married in a unique wedding ceremony Oak Ridge House at Forest Park, Queens June 9. We just got photos so we are sharing them now.

The bride is American and groom comes from Sri Lanka. She is a teacher and singer and her entire family is musical. One of her sisters and cousins sang at the wedding and the bride serenaded the groom at the reception.

Turns out his family is musical too - his Mom and dad surprised everyone by singing a Sri Lankan wedding song as a humorous video played!

In the ceremony, we included several special blessings from the Sri Lankan tradition. The family Candle lighting ceremony -- in which parents and bride and groom light oil candles on a tall, temple-size brass lamp to symbolize the joining of families on the wedding day. His Mom made sure those candles got lit!

We also did the famous Sri Lankan string ceremony. For this I had an assist from the grooms Dad and Sister.

America's Got Talent Star Serenades Central Park Couple - You Had To Be There!

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Bethesda Terrace in Central Park was hopping on September 1 when Shari Fox and Michael Laval said their "I Dos" before a crowd of hundreds.

They only had about 20 guests, but the area was filled with characters lounging by the perimeter of one of the most famous and beautiful fountains (the one with the big angel) in Central Park and wandering around the area.

I spoted three separate processionals of young girls dressed like colorful mini brides, escorted around the fountain by at least 8 uniformed men each. They were celebrating a custom many Latina girls will follow when they turn 15 called The "quinceanera" and posing for photos like crazy. Off to the side I could see a big man dressed like a wizard. Not to mention the 75 to 100 people seated on the huge, long, majestic staircase to the left, watching the break dancing team that is there every Saturday.

The cops came twice to try to keep the racket down. Once to asks the break dancers to turn off their loud music. And a second time to apparently apprehend a couple of guys who decided to take a swim in the fountain just as the ceremony was beginning.

This did not faze the beautiful bride, an office manager, and her handsome groom, a journalist. They'd flown in from Orlando, Florida just to experience the New York vibe. And boy, did they get a New York experience!

The photographer, videographer, and string musicians were worried about the sun and I was worried about the noise. I politely asked the break dancers to keep it down for 20 minutes so I could perform their ceremony, and invited all their fans to the wedding. The three performers politely said "no problem." But their spectators booed me! Loudly! They didn't seem to think that the street peformance should be interupted by a wedding - even though we had a permit to be there!

The wedding began nonetheless, and, as always, it was perfect as it was. The shade fell over the front of the fountain and the loud music and odd people all blended in. Friends and families surrounded us in a circle of love. The couple had a blast and most of all, they got to look into one another's eyes and share the experience.

Just as the ceremony was coming to close, I heard some odd sounds coming from the dark tunnel that leads to the fountain. Thoth, the unique performer now of American's Got Talent fame, was beginning to sing in a very high pitched voice. I discovered the tunnel is one of his usual performance spaces!

Soon as the ceremony was over we walked over to get a photo and he graciously knelt at their feet and serenaded them with a tune he told me is called "The Scottish Tune." It was very sweet and his female dance companion prayerfully pirouetted her way around Michael and Shari. They seemed to get a kick out of it.

All the while, the groom's Mom was telling me how Thoth had performed on America's Got Talent and ultimately, got booed off the stage. (I now know how that feels!). Please DO visit Thoth's myspace page so you can hear him for yourself. I insist!

The most important thing is the bride and groom had a blast! And they got a little serenade, too! A perfect ending to a wild New York wedding ceremony!

Photo by Ben Asen

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

Lindsay and Rob's Labor Day Weekend "I Dos"

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

My busy Labor Day weekend in New York City was filled with wonderful couples flying in from around the world to get hitched in the Big Apple.

Lindsay Purvis and Robert Buckingham of Tyne & Wear, England, tied the knot on August 30 in Shakespeare Garden in Central Park. They exchanged vows beneath the shade of the trees that surround the ancient sundial at the top of the garden's hill.

The bride looked gorgeous in a silk gown fit for the Academy Awards and the groom looked terrific in Hugo Boss. Although he doesn't like to be reminded, he looks A LOT like Freddy Prinze, Jr. -- but even more handsome!

Lindsay, an HR Manager, and Rob, an IT pro for a clothing company, have been together for seven years. And as the bride mentioned in her vows, "we may not be perfect... but we are perfect together!"

They enjoyed a wedding dinner at The River Cafe in Brooklyn, on the riverfront overlooking the sparkling skyline of New York City. Check out their website, just to hear the music!

Photo by Ben Asen

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

A Celtic Ceremony in Shakespeare's Garden

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

I have one bit of advice for anyone getting married in Central Park in the summer months. Get a permit if your are thinking of tying the knot in the Shakespeare Garden!

I offciated the wedding of the lovely Gillian Waddell, a biomedical scientist, and Derek Sword, a systems officer, from Dundee Scotland there last Friday, June 22. They flew in for a small and romantic ceremony in New York's glorious Central Park. We'd planned it for months but since it is not required to have a permit for groups less than 20 we didn't think we would need one. When we arrived we discovered an entire camera crew doing a photo shoot right at the Sundial where the couple wanted to have the ceremony -- and they had a permit to use the area!

The Sundial is in a lovely little cove in the center of the spectacular Shakespeare Garden, which is located the equivalent of a two block walk in from Central Park West, at 79th Street.

The whole garden is so well kept, that many people love to get married there, as well as have special events. On a Friday in the summer, it is also brimming with school children and tourists who love to walk up the floral path and investigate the little nooks and crannies.

Not surprisingly, it is a favorite locale of many couples who come here to marry from England, Ireland and Scotland. On Gillian and Derek's wedding day, Not only was there a fashion shoot going on, there were 80 people on treasure hunt, and one of their spots was the Sundial. They kept arriving in groups of four to investigate it.

But love was in the air so everyone in the Garden cooperated long enough for me to officate the wedding and for photographer Ben Asen to get the shots. The fashion photographer, his crew and models stopped work to witness the wedding! In fact, everyone stopped to witness.

Gillian walked from the bottom of the Garden, escorted by her Mum and made her way to her awaiting groom, who had not set eyes on her in the dress until that moment. She wore a lovely strapless pink gown and carried two large horseshoes with her bouquet for good luck; a wispy feathery hair piece was in her hair. Derek wore a traditional kilt.

The wedding was attended by Gillian's Mum and Auntie, as well as two friends of the couple with their two children. There was to be some bagpipe playing, but the plan changed.

We brought in some beautiful Celtic elements, such as a Celtic Loving Cup Ceremony, Celtic hand blessing and a Celtic Prayer to end the ceremony. As for the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Sword, they ended the ceremony by partaking in a time-honored tradition. They shared a hot dog from a nearby hot dog vendor!

More Information: Many couples from the UK come to be married in Central Park each year. It's such a beautiful location. For groups under 20, there is no need to attain a permit, but it helps to get one because is someone else has a permit for that area at the time of your wedding, technically, you can't use the same spot they have reserved.

Permits are only $25 to reserve an hour anywhere in the park, except for the amazing Central Park Conservatory Gardens, where permits cost $400 and hour. Photos by Ben Asen.

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

Calm Last Minute Wedding Jitters

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway answers your questions and relieves your wedding stress.

Dear Wedding Goddess -

My Wedding is a week away and I can feel my knees knocking! I get butterflies in the tummy everytime I think of making my way down the aisle. I am afraid I will be a nervous wreck. Any tips for calming wedding day jitters? -- Nervous and Excited

Dear Nervous and Excited:

Here are some tips to keep your stress level low on the big day.

Manage your time on your wedding day. Nothing is more flustering to a bride than running late on your wedding day. Create a time line that includes everything from your morning coffee, to leaving for the ceremony, and stick as close to it as possible. Take control of time on your wedding day so that it does not add stress to the natural butterflies in the tummy.

Take a few minutes to yourself. Leave yourself time on your wedding day to have a few moments to cool out and breath right before your processional. This means if you are taking photos, stop at least a half hour before “show time.” If you are chatting with guests, it will be time to stop. Go to the bathroom or bridal suite, fix make up and hair, take care of last minute self-care… and then sit quietly by yourself. And breathe. If you are seeing your groom before the ceremony, spend a few moments with him, and then take your leave for a moment alone.

Ground yourself. As you get ready to take your walk, stand for a moment, hands on belly, and feel your feet firmly planted on the ground. Feel the firm earth beneath you. Imagine you are strong as a tree, yet flexible as the branches and leaves that blow in the wind. When you feel centered, it is time to walk.

Remember the gift at the end of the aisle. If you at any time feel confused … or concerned that your lips are quivering as you try to smile … or worried that you seem too stiff or are walking to fast … or wondering if you will be so overwhelmed by all the attention that you will falter … just look up and he’ll be there.

Every bride says that nervousness subsides and bliss sets in when she catches a glimpse of the one she loves

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading NYC interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

What are the best wedding favors?

Dear Wedding Goddess -

I am trying to figure out the best wedding favors for my wedding. I want something unique that guests will remember. What do you recommend?

- Asking for Favors

Dear Asking for Favors -

I came across some very "sweet" wedding favors recently. They are handmade with love by Donna, proprietess of Sweet Comfort Bakery/Desserts by Donna on Long Island. She is a master baker, but she also creates amazing chocolate-based favors.

My favorite is her spectacular three layer, white wedding cake favor. It is only 3 inches high! It is adorable, with a delicious scent, and it tastes like a chocolate dream. Each little cake is handmade, with tiny pink flowers painted on individually, using a tooth pick. They taste so yummy that your guests will be happy to go home with one. It will create even sweeter memories about your wedding. I love the wedding cake favor because it is reminiscent of the old English custom of sending guests home with a piece of wedding cake. The Sweet Comfort Wedding Cake Favor is half a pound of solid chocolate, and prices begin at $4 each.

But that's not all. She also creates yummy Sweet Comfort Love Lollipops with all sort of bridal designs - hearts, bride and groom, wedding bells, etc -- for about $2.25 each. They come in chocolate, white chocolate, and even in red. Some are heart shaped with tiny hearts painted onto them in chocolate. The detail is delicious as the lollypop!

She also makes a special Sweet Comfort Edible Bridal Basket which is filled with goodies. It makes a great gift for a bride and groom. I attended a wedding last night and I brought the bridal basket to the couple and they loved it! It has a chocolate bride and groom lollipops, cookies, chocolate bells, peanut butter cups, biscotti, toffee, chocolated covered marshmellows, and more, all with hearts and bridal couples.  They are amazingly affordable -- beginning at $40 to about $65. A wedding planner I know took a look at the Edible Bridal Basket and commented on what a great centerpiece it would make for a wedding shower, or even a wedding.                                                                                                                                                                   

For more on the Sweet Comfort Bakery, Desserts by Donna, and her line of wedding favors, call (631)-235-9564 or e-mail living2bake@aol.com .

Many Blessings,

Rev. Laurie Sue

Interfaith Worship Service

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway answers your questions and relieves your wedding stress.

Dear Wedding Goddess:

My husband-to-be is a different faith than me. He is Jewish and I am Christian. I am very used to holiday services, but he is uncomfortable coming to a church. Is there a neutral place to go in New York City? -- Maureen

Dear Maureen –

Luckily, NYC is home to a number of wonderful ways to blend yours faiths and enjoy non-denominational and interfaith spirituality together. I will be sharing more on this in months to come.

For a lovely Sunday service, try the Community of Peace and Spirituality, headed by my colleagues Rev. Allan Lokos and Rev. Susanna Weiss, founders and spiritual directors. They are a husband and wife team of ordained interfaith ministers and they welcome everyone with open arms.

This is a unique, friendly and joyous Sunday service. It is also a chance to take time out to reflect and relax. They usually feature a powerful interfaith prayer and meditation, a speaker who shares insights on a different faith or spiritual practice each week, as well as an often humorous and always inspiring homily called “One Minister’s Thoughts.”

Each Sunday they create a beautifully balanced environment in which people of all faiths can gather and share a sacred experience. The service honors the world’s great religions and spiritual paths and in doing so makes everyone feel included. This is not a “church” per see, so your fiancé should be quite comfy there, yet it is structured like a worship service so you will feel at home as well.

The Sunday morning gatherings of celebration, meditation, and prayer are from 11:00 AM to 12 noon at the Community’s new home, 593 Columbus Avenue, corner of West 88th Street.

This service is perfect for people who consider themselves “spiritual” but not very religious. “The Community of Peace and Spirituality is a place for those who long for a deeper sense of the spiritual self and have not found it in traditional religious dogma and practices,” explains Associate Director, Rev. Joshua Ellis.

“Individually and collectively each person discovers the truth of their own path. An Interfaith perspective guides the Community where all are invited without regard for race, creed, color, age, gender, sexual orientation, economic, or social status.”

Prior to becoming ministers, both Rev. Allan and Rev. Susanna enjoyed successful performing careers on Broadway, in concert, and in dance, so they bring a wonderful touch of music and dance to their services.

Mark you calendar because I will be speaking there on March 18 about the Hindu Goddess of Good Fortune, based on my new course, Discovering the Goddess.

For more information contact The Community of Peace and Spiritualityat www.InterfaithHome.org or (212) 787-7272.

Many blessings, Rev. Laurie Sue

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Is 7-7-07 a Truly Lucky Wedding Date?

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Hotels and wedding vendors across the land are seeing 7-7-07 book up, faster than couples can set their sights on pledging their love on a "lucky day."

Ever wonder why the number 7 is so hot? From a spiritual perspective, here are some of the reasons it is considered sacred.

In the Bible. The number 7 is a perfect and important number.

From the Jewish perspective: The number 7 is prominent in the Torah and the Zohar. God rested on the seventh day of creating earth, and hence, sanctified and deemed Sabbath on day seven. There are seven blessings over the wine are recited under the huppa during the marriage ceremony.

From the Catholic perspective: There are Seven sacraments, we have Seven Deadly Sins (Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, and Pride) and Seven Virtues (Chastity, Moderation, Liberality, Charity, Meekness, Zeal, and Humility).

From the Christian perspective: In the New Testament, Jesus tells Peter he must forgive "seventy times seven."

From the Native American and Wiccan traditions: Their are 7 directions: east, west, north, south, Above, Below and Within. There are 7 sacred ceremonies.

From the Hindu tradition. There are 7 energy centers in the body called chakras. They represent both physical and energetic centers and they are: root, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, crown. In the Hindu wedding ceremony, the most important part is Saptapadi, the 7 steps around the sacred flame as 7 blessings are chanted.

From the Japanese Shinto religion: There are "Seven Lucky Gods" who preside over fortune.

In mythology: Innana, the Babylonian Goddess Queen of Heaven, had to descend 7 levels to the underworld stripping her jewels, clothes, crown, and ego (7 items in all) along the way in order to rescue her beloved Tamuz from the depths of hell.

Lucky 7- Will It Be Lucky For Marriage?

From sports to the stars: 7 comes up sacred again. In astronomy and astrology there are 7 planets that can be seen with the naked eye.In baseball, there was only one number 7 - Mickey Mantle.

Gambler's luck. In the game of craps, 7 wins in any combination. Lady Luck is a character who wears dice for earrings and they always have the number 7.

As you can see, ancient and popular thinking would seem to make 7-07-07 a helluva wedding date, a triple chance at good luck!

But astrologer Shelley Ackerman, of www.KarmicRelief.com , says it will not be a good start for a new marriage. Hindus and Buddhists often check with the stars or a fortune teller before picking a wedding date. Western couples are doing it more and more.

Ackerman has told her clients to stay clear of 7-7-07. Why?

"Mercury is retrograde, which represents 'unkept promises'," says Ackerman. "This is not a good time to sign contracts of any kind." On top of that, she says:

* The moon is waning. Not a good time to begin something new as it represents the dying out and limited power.

* The planets are not properly aligned. Yikes. Venus, the planet of love, is in a difficult aspect with Saturn and Neptune. Translation? The limiting planet of Saturn and the disappearing/disappointing Neptune do not a happy marital picture make.

"There are other problems too," says Ackerman, "so this is not a day any astrologer worth their salt would recommend."

Of course, anything is possible if you focus on the good. There is always a chance that love -- and luck -- can overcome the astrological odds.

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, contributing editor to Wedlok.com, is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddess.com .

In the Bible. The number 7 is a perfect and important number.

From the Jewish perspective: The number 7 is prominent in the Torah and the Zohar. God rested on the seventh day of creating earth, and hence, sanctified and deemed Sabbath on day seven. There are seven blessings over the wine are recited under the huppa during the marriage ceremony.

From the Catholic perspective: There are Seven sacraments, we have Seven Deadly Sins (Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, and Pride) and Seven Virtues (Chastity, Moderation, Liberality, Charity, Meekness, Zeal, and Humility).

From the Christian perspective: In the New Testament, Jesus tells Peter he must forgive "seventy times seven."

From the Native American and Wiccan traditions: Their are 7 directions: east, west, north, south, Above, Below and Within. There are 7 sacred ceremonies.

From the Hindu tradition. There are 7 energy centers in the body called chakras. They represent both physical and energetic centers and they are: root, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, crown. In the Hindu wedding ceremony, the most important part is Saptapadi, the 7 steps around the sacred flame as 7 blessings are chanted.

From the Japanese Shinto religion: There are "Seven Lucky Gods" who preside over fortune.

In mythology: Innana, the Babylonian Goddess Queen of Heaven, had to descend 7 levels to the underworld stripping her jewels, clothes, crown, and ego (7 items in all) along the way in order to rescue her beloved Tamuz from the depths of hell.

Lucky 7- Will It Be Lucky For Marriage?

From sports to the stars: 7 comes up sacred again. In astronomy and astrology there are 7 planets that can be seen with the naked eye.In baseball, there was only one number 7 - Mickey Mantle.

Gambler's luck. In the game of craps, 7 wins in any combination. Lady Luck is a character who wears dice for earrings and they always have the number 7.

As you can see, ancient and popular thinking would seem to make 7-07-07 a helluva wedding date, a triple chance at good luck!

But astrologer Shelley Ackerman, of www.KarmicRelief.com , says it will not be a good start for a new marriage. Hindus and Buddhists often check with the stars or a fortune teller before picking a wedding date. Western couples are doing it more and more.

Ackerman has told her clients to stay clear of 7-7-07. Why?

"Mercury is retrograde, which represents 'unkept promises'," says Ackerman. "This is not a good time to sign contracts of any kind." On top of that, she says:

* The moon is waning. Not a good time to begin something new as it represents the dying out and limited power.

* The planets are not properly aligned. Yikes. Venus, the planet of love, is in a difficult aspect with Saturn and Neptune. Translation? The limiting planet of Saturn and the disappearing/disappointing Neptune do not a happy marital picture make.

"There are other problems too," says Ackerman, "so this is not a day any astrologer worth their salt would recommend."

Of course, anything is possible if you focus on the good. There is always a chance that love -- and luck -- can overcome the astrological odds.

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, contributing editor to Wedlok.com, is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddess.com .

8 Valentine Tips for the Newly Engaged

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Getting married is huge step in the life of any bride and groom. The journey to the altar is a sacred time of truly getting ready for a long term, loving relationship. Too often, couples get lost in the hoopla around getting hitched, instead of focusing on the steps of preparing for married life.

My advice: Don’t just plan a fabulous wedding ... prepare for an awesome marriage.

As romantic as it is to get engaged, and plan a wedding, there is so much more to be explored as you head toward your wedding day. I find that as weddings become more creative and self-expressive, more and more couples want to by-pass deep reflection and mindful preparation and go straight to the party planning and the wedding dramas. They tend to avoid taking time out to talk about what their married life will be like.

Even a great relationship must be nurtured and built into a great marriage. Here are eight tips to give your marraige a head start!

1. Be aware that getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be very nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage … and unresolved emotions may come to the surface to be explored. Be prepared to do some inner work along with all the external preparations. Honor and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural. Don't sweep things under the rug.

2. Ask yourselves, and each other, A LOT of questions. Don't assume that married life will be the same as single life. And don't be afraid to get to know each other's truest feelings. It is important that you delve into everything from how you'll raise your kids, to what kind of color scheme you want in your home, to how you will spend free nights at home once the wedding is over. Brides and grooms tend to want to avoid the deep talks, and dwell on the surface aspects of getting married. Your married life will be a lot smoother if you communicate with and listen to one another. Be willing to hear things you may not like and agree with. Find ways to compromise and learn to give in to one another when appropriate.

3. Picture Your Future. Begin to think about and visualize the life you want to share. What will it look like? What will your new roles be like? What kind of home and family life do you want to have? Although it is fun to day dream, it is very practical to give thought and vision to the life you want to create. You might even want to create a treasure map (see below) or a book of choices (where you list the aspects of the life you choose), to guide you.

4. Use visual language - it is powerful. Cut photos from magazines that illustrate the essence of your ideal life together and paste them in a special journal book or on poster board. Superimposed photos of yourself in a picture of that fabulous vacation spot, or cut out a happy family picture that represents how you'd like it to be, with the number of kids you’d like to have. Visual cues give strong messages to the subconscious. Working together to find the images, and gluing them into place together, will begin to expand your picture of life together. Studies have shown images can be like visual prayers.

5. Create your new home together. Find, it buy it or rent it, and begin to get it in order before the big day! If you already live together, do some marital remodeling, updating or upgrading. Your home will be the safe harbor for you two and your marriage. What ever your budget, make your home beautiful, sacred and truly compatible with you both. Start merging your stuff as soon as you can so that you don't spend the first months of marriage arguing about furniture and belongings. Use Feng Shui, and the many advances in emotionally uplifting decorating, to help you merge into married life with less stress. It can guide you on everything from where to place your bed to best place for your couch, TV and plants. It can also help you place holy icons in just the right areas.

6. Create a Mission Statement For Your Marriage. You may not be able to write your own vows for your wedding, but you can put some personal thoughts on paper. The first step of any new enterprise is to create a mission statement. This applies to your marriage, as well. Brainstorm, discuss, process and bat around ideas until you come up with a Marriage Mission Statement. This is your mutual intention for marriage; it is what you want to be and build together. It can have one sentence or reflect a number of ideas. For example:

Our union gives us strength, power and fortitude to deal with all of life’s ups and downs, and it empowers us to contribute to others and the world. We are best friends, confidantes and partners, and we have many close relationships with people we consider "spiritual family." We are a couple who inspire others with our love and who model what it is to be in a great relationship.

7. Do pre-wedding vows. You can put forth your commitment, before your wedding day, in a very simple and loving way. It can be as simple as reading a poem to each other, to declaring your love in one or two affirming sentences. This excerpt from Song of Solomon is a beautiful example of selecting words that are simple, yet powerfully honor and express your love. You can just look each other in the eyes, hold hands and say: "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." Every time you experience a ritual that declares your love, it’s like giving each other a special boost of love and will bring you even closer for your wedding day.

8. Establish rituals that will make you both feel loved and happily married. In his book, Soul Mates, Thomas Moore talks of those little life rituals that make the soul feel content. These are usually mundane yet sacred elements of living that keep the two of you connected, keep your dreams alive and accentuate your togetherness. It's these things – a call from the office every day, a romantic dinner at home on Fridays, going to your favorite restaurant or Inn once a year – that keep you both aligned with the goals you set forth. When you establish loving rituals to look forward to, they will never become boring. They become a part of who you are, together. They will be experiences you can share to reawaken your love at any stage of marriage.

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading NYC interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddess.com.