Remembering the Runaway Bride – And Making Sure You Don’t Become One!
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Wedding Goddess Wisdom
In May 2005, the wedding season was kicked off with one huge story dominating the headlines: The Runaway Bride. It seems fitting to remember the woman who became the poster child for bridal stress and who gave the world a much needed glimpse into the darker side of getting hitched.
And you thought your journey to the altar has been filled with drama?
Who doesn’t remember the massive search … the sobbing fiancé … the heartbroken relatives parading across TV news as the world waited and wondered … what happened to Jennifer Wilbanks, then 32, who disappeared four days before her April 30, 2005 wedding.
As the story unraveled we learned that, well, she had sort of unraveled too.
Although she said she was running from “certain fears” and not cold feet, she fessed-up that she couldn’t face the huge and lavish hometown affair, complete with 600 guests and 28 attendants. That she was too much of a perfectionist; that it became overwhelming. She cut her hair to disguise herself, hopped on a bus and headed west to escape her wedding.
People feared the worse, as Jennifer quietly rode far as she could, away from the big day she had dreamed of and planned for. Tired and financially tapped out, she ended up in New Mexico, where she called her family and her honey with concocted tale abduction. She said she had no idea she had caused such a stir.
Next thing you know, authorities are traipsing her through an airport back to Duluth, Georgia, and she is sporting a red, white, blue and yellow stripped towel over her head. You just couldn’t help but think … “gee, this just isn't right ... she was supposed to be wearing a wedding veil, not this thing.”
It was sad … and very odd … but you know what … she did all brides a favor by throwing a spotlight on something that we’d yet to own up to in today's wedding culture: Brides sometimes become the victim of their own wedding experience!
It is possible to get so deep into the planning and fanfare that we do not take time to take stock of true feelings and fears. We are so focused on weddings as a fantasy come true that we forget that a wedding can also feel like a crisis. Not just because of all the work, time, energy and emotion of planning … but because of what it means. The wedding is the threshold into the new life of becoming a wife, partner, and possibly a parent some day. And if you have already been down that road, and things didn’t quite work out … Yikes. That in it self can make you want to bolt.
The difference is, most brides don’t.
Last year, the Associated Press said Jenifer took off because she was afraid she would not be "the perfect wife." While we still don't know the whole story or what really made her run, in one mad dash from the altar, Jennifer Wilbanks showed us all that weddings are not always as pretty as they seem on the outside … and that brides need help sorting through the stress and confusion.
It is important to acknowledge that fear is a natural part of the experience. Excessive fear should be addressed with people who can help. You have to be honest with yourself if you have so many reservations that you want to high-tail it out of town … without your fiancé.
To this day, the Runaway Bride and her stand-by-her-side groom have not yet tied the knot. I hope that if they decide to wed, they will just run off to Vegas and let Elvis give them a proper wedding.
Here’s hoping that despite the challenges, you all rise above wedding stress and have a beautiful wedding and a blessed marriage!
© Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, 2006, all rights reserved.
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is an interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant amd columnist. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a bridal stress expert. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddess.com.
